No, nothing physical or anything dramatic like that. An emotional issue I suppose. Maybe more of a social problem.
What it comes down to is this—most of my immediate family doesn’t know I draw porn or any kind of erotica. This is intentional, because I’m quite sure they’d judge me severely for it.
Perhaps I shouldn’t care. But I respect my family, and I’d like for them to respect me for who I am. And frankly, expressing sexuality through art is very much an aspect of who I am. I feel like I’m hiding a part of me from them. In general, it’s not a big deal. But it can be stressful sometimes.
I just got back from a long extended discussion with my mom. I talked to her about some things generally going on in the brony community. Somehow, the conversation evolved to the idea of how all the teenage boys who are making the fandom unsafe for the primary target audience, little girls, by posting NSFW content without discretion. I wasted no time in tell her about Safe Search Wrap Up and PoniesforParents, as well as the bronies who support these programs. She was glad to hear about it. But we continued to talk about things peripheral to the topic, and basically, she expressed this general loathing for bronies who drew “preverted” material. She obviously knew not all bronies were like that, since I was her child and a brony.
But consistently she seemed to express that bronies who made “perverted” content were kinda scummy and needed to be dealt with. Now, I really love my mom, and I respect her deeply. She’s full of wisdom and the person I am today is pretty much thanks to her—I think I’m a pretty awesome person, so I’m grateful for that. But for all her wisdom and insight, my mom is unfortunately very condemning of erotica of any kind. She’s a bit of a prude when it comes to overt sexuality. She’s very open minded about sexuality in general. For example, she knows that I have a sexual interest in the characters of MLP, and she see’s nothing wrong with that.
But porn is another matter altogether. To her, it’s inherently demeaning, perverted, and irredeemably sick. Any kind of explicit exploration of sexuality that is outside of one’s own mind is wrong. And as you might guess, I find this incredibly upsetting. Her view is generally consistent with the rest of my family. This is why I keep it a secret.
I feel like I’m harboring a secret that could potentially damage my relationship with my family. Especially with my mom. I don’t want to tell them, for fear of this. But I get physically distressed and ill having to keep it a secret when discussions like this come up—because it’s so integral to who I am.
I don’t know for sure how my mom would react if she found out. Maybe she’d be more understanding than I thought. But more likely, she’ll just have a nigh impossible time accepting that porn is just something that I do. Maybe she’ll tolerate it, try to ignore it’s existence. Ultimately, it’s not like I need her see my work. I just feel like I need to have that part of my personality validated by the family that I respect the most.
I’ve planned arguments and thoughts and have had pretend debates with her in my head on the subject, almost in preparation for the eventually that she’ll find out some day. And here, I’d like to make a call to my followers—especially my female followers. From your perspective as a woman, what kind of points do you feel would really validate my case to hear. I know I know my own mother best, and I’ve really spent a lot of time thinking about it from the perspective of a woman. But perhaps there is some insight that escapes me. If there is any advice you could send my way, that would be awesome. And just knowing there are females out there who are cool with porn will help validate this too my mom as well, as she’s confident that porn is largely a male interest. But until I’m confident, or I find myself unable to back out of it, I’m going to keep things a secret. And a weighty secret it is. I don’t want to sound melodramtic, and really this isn’t a consistent issue. But when it does come up, I just don’t know what to do.
Anyways, thank you for taking the time to read this. I promise we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled pony butts soon. <3
([A]nd really this isn’t a consistent issue. [emphasis added] I was genuinely confused for a bit when I read that, because this suggests that your views/your family’s views/this issue changes over time. [“Consistent” means “not changing over time”.] I have a feeling that “persistent” [“coming up often”] is meant here, that is, the issue doesn’t come up a lot.)
Not female, but… I have to say that my personal situation isn’t very comparable to this, but I’ll give this brief glimpse into my personal life. My parents know that I consume pornography, but they don’t know the “nitty-gritty” details of it. They just assume that it’s the regular live-action sort. I’ve explained to my dad that I go beyond that, but that’s about it. (My dad knows I’m a brony, but as far as I know, he doesn’t even know what Rule 34 is.)
Morally, my parents are generally against it. Or, maybe my mom used to be against it but not anymore. (It hasn’t come up between us in a long time.) My dad, though, is definitely against it now, but he acknowledges that he doesn’t have any real control over it (especially legally).
I am not sure how you would even bring up this issue before you begin to make your case. Or am I missing something here? Either way, it doesn’t seem as if you’re asking about that here, so I’ll assume you have something worked out. :/
Of course, the first thing to do is understand her side. Why does she think that pornography is bad, especially as opposed to sexuality in general? If you already know the answer to that, maybe you could follow up with another post and we could explore her justification. Otherwise, make your own case. Why do you think porn is okay? I personally say that it’s a good way to express sexuality deal with sexual frustration (if consumed properly, of course).
I honestly don’t see what gender has to do with this. So what if porn is primarily a male interest? Or is your mother concerned about the exploitation/objectification/something similar of women? I was planning on making a full discussion out of this, but, for now, I’ll just say that porn is not about gender (think gay porn).
Well, that’s what I can offer on this. It’s not very good in terms of advice. Good luck.
(You all can have your butts. I prefer crotch shots from the anterior. XD)